After seeing an ex/my first love after 2 years of no contact before that at his niece's/my %26amp; his goddaughter's birthday party, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Prior to that, we were involved for almost 5 years and things changed when I had said something I should have never said (that I never wanted to speak to him again), he took it serious without letting me know and moved on to a new girlfriend. I was heartbroken for so long. I created so much drama during that time, my most vulnerable state of mind, confessing my love to him while he was with a new girlfriend and that resulted in him changing his number 2 years ago. That is the reason up to this day, I think he even changed his number to cut me out of his life.
At the party, I knew I was going to see him there. I never showed up to our goddaughter's party years before because I was not in a good state of mind. I never stopped loving him and honestly, never wanted to see him with this new girlfriend of his. The total opposite happened at the party, I was at peace, pretty glad and happy to see him. We exchanged hellos when he came up to me and gave me a hug, and it was just one of the best feelings in the world. I thought he hated me for real all these years. Seeing mutal friends, his family and others was so nice. His sister mentioned to me that he is single, and just smiled. During the party, he tried to say %26quot;what's up%26quot; to me from a distance twice, but I continued to smile because really, the cat got my tongue. Seeing him in person, I thought was going to be hard, but my attention was not to him the entire time at the party as I thought it would be. Smiling to him was enough for me, and him smiling back was nice.
My friend and him had exchanged numbers, she told me that she could tell he was %26quot;digging%26quot; me because she caught him smiling at me whenever my back was turned, and caught him looking at me. I, myself caught him looking at me as well and didn't know what to think.
My friends and I had left the party early because we had another celebration to go to, he was asking my friend why we were leaving early and that he watned to go to the lounge we were going to. When my girlfriends and I left to my house to get ready, she told me he had texted saying he was trying to see us ladies later. She knew that he wanted to see me, she was able to tell because when I had left the party, she said %26quot;I think he wnated to say bye because he was looking for you, but you were gone already.%26quot; Myself was not able to say bye.
I had a feeling of whatever was going to happen - He never showed up at the lounge we were at. Why do you think he never showed up? I know if I wanted to talk to him at the party, or he wnated to talk as well rather than saying 'what's up' from across the room, it would have happened vice versa. I honestly am open to being friends, but now that my friend has his new number- I honestly made mistakes with him in the past and do not want to go down that route of opening an old wound. I am at peace for the trouble I caused, but it just seems like the tables have turned?
My friend does not want to give me his number for my own good, she states that she would rather have him contact me, and that if he relaly wanted to, he will find a way.
I guess, it just makes me wonder if he really was interested, he would have showed up where I was at or tried to contact me? What is meant to be?How would you deal with this situation?Girl, let the past, stay in the past. Don't get caught up in being needy, like your life stopped since you two parted. Take a look at what you wrote. It's overly emotional. Why would you want anyone to make you feel or behave like that, especially someone who didn't care enough about your feelings to treat you better. He's not the last man left on earth, is he?
